Manajemen Konflik: Basic Conflict Resolution Principles

Basic Principles: "The Ten Understandments" for Doing it Right

1. Conflict is not good or bad, it just

• a part of live/unavoidable/neither good nor evil and
• an opportunity for positive change and growth

2. Don't get mad, don't get even, get what you want

Focus on your interest

3. Separate the people from the problems

Don't make it personal

4. The four A's

Active listening- show that you understand by restating
Acknowledgment of
the other party (their authority and competence)
Agreeing with the other
party (where you can)
Apologizing wherever possible (and watch what happens)

5. Make "I" statements instead of "you" statements.

"I feel... when you..." instead of "you're a jerk"

6. Instead of "but..." say "yes and ..."

Move from an argument to acknowledgment and refocusing on the problem.

7. Don't react

De-escalate by taking time to think rather than voicing anger in a reflexive,
defensive manner. Refocus on the problem rather than responding to each
argument.

8. Ask "why?", "what if?", "what makes that fair?".

Open-ended question concerning the other party's positions and their fairness.

9. Ask about alternatives to reaching a mutual agreement.

What will happen if you take the conflict to the next level: physical violence,
lawsuit, police?

10. Negotiate even when you can "win".

Preserve relationships, you may need their help and support one day.

Posted in: Manajemen Konflik